A series of tests were performed on our German Shepherd dog, Tamsen during the summer of 2001. Twelve independent laboratories specializing in the investigation and quantification of such attributes as health, intelligence, behavior, and aesthetic appeal, among several other qualities, observed and examined Tamsen for four weeks. The results of these tests, available as document numbers #BOE35.214E-1a through #BOE35.214E-2c from the Government Printing Office (Pueblo, Colorado), have verified and confirmed that Tamsen is the best dog in the whole wide world.